Finding Balance in a “Students Come First” World

As educators we are explicitly and implicitly told every day that we need to prioritize the students.  “The students come first” is the motto of many schools and has become the de facto expectation of parents and society at large toward teachers. 

One can only listen to this message ad nauseum for so long without internalizing it.  We then feel guilty for not responding to email all hours of the day and night and not spending every evening and weekend lesson planning and grading.  In this article, we make the case for prioritizing yourself.

The Respect and Professionalization of Educators

Let’s be frank, there is a bit of a competition among teachers to be seen as the hardest-working teacher in the land.  Stop me if you’ve heard a version of this before.  “Oh, I’m so tired, I started grading right after school and did not stop until 10:30 last night.”  Or: “I’m so stressed, I’ve volunteered to organize the Spring Fair and have spent every weekend and evening getting that organized.”  Why do we do this to ourselves?

Now, don’t get me wrong.  There are countless hours that go into teaching and building a solid curriculum.  There are extra duties that are required in most districts that add to the professional load of teachers.  However, teachers working to the point of exhaustion is not helping the respect for and professionalization of educators.  

Prioritizing Yourself Without the Guilt

As an administrator, I firmly believe that teachers must prioritize themselves.  I want the teachers in my building to be happy on a personal level and to pursue their interests outside of school.  I believe this mindset makes teachers better in the classroom.  I think happier people make better teachers. 

I also want teachers to view their work as a career that is continually arcing upward.  Professional satisfaction, in any job, is much easier to achieve when you’re working to improve and advance yourself.

Teacher Self-Care

And it is very hard to be happy if you are burned out and frustrated by, among other things, your workload.  Happier people experience lower levels of stress, are better able to cope, and create a more inviting environment for their students. To boot, there is evidence that happier people are also physically healthier–which means fewer days trying to create emergency lesson plans and hoping a sub is available.   

Why Is Finding Time So Difficult?

This may seem obvious, but let’s take a moment to explore what makes taking time for yourself so difficult.  The reality is probably that you have two full-time jobs–your teaching job and your job at home with your own kids, family members, and obligations.  This makes it very hard to prioritize yourself and, when you do, it often comes with a hefty dose of guilt.  

There is also the question of what to do with the time you prioritize–do you engage in a hobby, go for a power walk, or end world hunger?  When did taking time for yourself become fraught with anxiety in itself?  Try this–give yourself permission to prioritize yourself by doing something enjoyable, regardless of what it is, how it looks, or whether it is by yourself or with others.  

Prioritizing yourself means making a conscious choice to spend your time in a way that will energize and refresh you.  If that means it is watching a movie together as a family, do that.  If it means learning a new hobby that you have been meaning to take up, do that.  If it means quietly reading a book with a beverage of choice, do that.  You get the idea.  The purpose is to take time for yourself to recharge, not stress yourself out that you are going above and beyond with how you spend your time.

Six Steps to Prioritizing Yourself

We’ve convinced you and you’re ready to start prioritizing yourself but where do you start?  

Step One: Give Yourself Permission to Take Time for Yourself–However That Might Look to You

The hardest part of all of this is giving yourself permission to make time for yourself.  If you are like me, you think you should wait until there is a day off or a break of some sort.  The problem with this is that when those breaks roll around, you’ve already booked them up with grading you want to get done and lesson planning you want to get ahead of. There is never a good time for teachers to take time for themselves.  You have to force yourself to do it.   Yes, even if that means that the grading has to wait for a day or so.  I’m not advocating that the work not get done, but I am advocating for a balance between the needs of the job and the needs of the teacher as a person.  

Here’s how to start:

• Keep a time log for one week
• Chart out every evening starting at the time you can officially leave school
• Chart out each day of the weekend identifying how much time you are grading, planning, answering emails or doing any work-related task
• Identify one evening or weekend chunk of time (or more) to reserve for yourself
• Mark out that time in your calendar–just as you would any other meeting or appointment

Step Two: Dedicated Time Each Week 

You have the time, now what are you going to do with it?  As we discussed above, there is no right answer here.  It just needs to be time that you are spending in a way that brings you joy, improves your outlook, and provides you energy.  That may be a solo activity or a social one.  It may be spent trying something new or engaged in a favorite pastime.  It may be exercise or watching a favorite show.  There are no judgments–as long as you are mindful of your choice and it is good for you, that is time well spent.

With that said, research shows that some activities provide more for one’s well-being and mental health than others.  Think hobby.  Hobbies include the beneficial element of releasing dopamine to the brain because it is an activity that is spent for personal enrichment.  The feel-good hormone of dopamine reduces feelings of stress and overwhelm.  You can read more about how hobbies affect the brain.

Is an activity worth my free time?

However, if you are like me, maybe the idea of having time reserved for yourself for a hobby or even for FUN is a little daunting.  What am I going to do with that time and how do I make sure it is “worth” it?

Start with taking twenty minutes to complete a self-inventory.  This is precious time and you want it to be meaningful.  As easy as it is, you probably don’t want to fritter it away on social media or mindlessly binge-watching Netflix.  You want to feel like a better version of yourself after that time.   The goal is to skip into school the next day with a smile on your face and a song on your lips.  

This brings us back to the self-inventory.  Here are questions to get you started:

• What brought you joy as a child?
• What energizes you after engaging in the activity?
• How do you recharge?
• What did you enjoy doing before you were a teacher?
• What haven’t you tried that you’d like to?

Step Three: Thoughtful Engagement

Once you are planned out, all that is left is to do it!  Take whatever block of time you have allocated and be all in with it.  Don’t check email or social media or, if possible, text messages.  Stay in the moment and engaged in your activity.  Whether it is a solo activity or doing something to connect with others, this is a time for you to recharge and be the best version of yourself.  No one can be their best selves if they do not take time for those activities that bring them joy.

Step Four: Reflection

After you have taken time for yourself, begin to reflect on how you feel afterward and the next day.  Do you notice changes in how you interact with students or colleagues?  Did the activity bring you new energy or break up the week?  This reflection will raise your awareness of your own feelings.  No one wants to sleepwalk through the week. Nobody dreams of counting down the days until it is the weekend.  Prioritizing yourself with an activity that is fun, engaging and brings you joy is a way to stay more present in your life.

Step Five: Creating Habits

This should not be a “one-and-done” activity.  Prioritizing yourself is something that needs repetition if lasting results are to occur.  Even if you do not have an activity planned for each week, we recommend reserving at least one day a week to be schoolwork free. 

• Staying off of your work email
• No lesson plans or grading
• Enjoying your time at home or out
• Enjoying time alone or with friends or family 

Make a habit of scheduling one day a week for yourself.  Over time, that habit will solidify itself and will become something that you look forward to each week.  

Step Six: Connectedness

As you begin to create your weekly event or activity, I challenge you to begin sharing it with others.  You are not necessarily hoping to convince others to participate in your activity.  If that happens, great.   The point is that you are sharing with others that you make your well-being a priority.  The implication is that others should do so as well.  

I think it is incredibly important that as educators we share with one another how we are thriving outside of the classroom.  Being a voice that says that you care about your own well-being and this is what you do to support that is incredibly powerful and a message that not just other educators should hear but a message that students should hear as well. 

A Culture of Realistic Demands

There are very few professions where society has the expectation that they work all day and then spend their time at home working as well.  Somehow I think this work ethic has backfired on educators with students or families making unrealistic demands on educators’ time.  Creating space for yourself–even if it is only one evening a week–begins to slowly change that narrative.